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Topic #53 – Numbrella

No one likes to get wet against their will. There’s a rape joke in there but I’m going to let that go because that’s not the point of today’s YAD post. I’m talking about rainy days and umbrellas. Now, in a torrential downpour, I get it, before you step out into the monsoon, you want to unleash the power of your umbrella, brockabrella or other dome protecting appliance. Maybe you did your hair nice today or maybe you have on a reasonably expensive article of clothing – btw, an idiotic thing to do on a day you expected rain so much you brought an umbrella.

However, if it’s a drizzle, and we’re walking out of a building, do me a favor: walk and open. WALK AND OPEN. You can take a few shoulder drips to allow my body that’s in motion, to stay in motion. Unless you’re putting me under the umbrella with you, I give no shits regarding what rain falls upon your head. What I do give a shit about is the fact that you believe that instead of sliding to the side like a normal, considerate human, you believe the entirety of the population trying to exit a building behind you should wait at your whim and marvel at your umbrella unfurling skills. If you don’t know how to get the fuck out of the way with your umbrella, YOU AM DUMB.

I’m back, bitches.

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August 13, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , | Leave a comment