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Topic #54 – Ferpes

Like most guys, seeing a woman in a pair of killer heels can sometimes be drool-inducing. Heels show off great legs and even seeing a woman in platform heels, knowing that she is actually a foot-and-a-half shorter than the heels are making her look is kind of hot.

Don’t judge my sickness.

What is drool-inducing in a completely different and disappointing manner is seeing that same woman, or any woman for that matter, later walking down the street barefoot, heels in hand. Was that the game plan when you left the house? Look, I get dirt in my eyes all the time. As such, I make sure I carry eye drops with me because I know how much of an idiot I look like picking and digging in my eye, along with the fact that dirt isn’t healthy for my eyes. You know where else dirt isn’t that healthy? On your feet. Especially sidewalk dirt.

I would put the number of vomit stains I see at an average of about 11 per week. That doesn’t count the spitting, cigarette butts, urination and whatever other general bum and disregard-for-anyone-else related fluids, etc that end up on our lovely city streets.

Carry a purse big enough to fit sandals or some other kind of back up shoes. Or keep your soon-to-be herpes riddled feet – your ferpes – nowhere near me. If you take your shoes off to walk on city streets, YOU AM DUMB.

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June 18, 2013 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. I came home with a blister the size of a Chihuahua a few weekends ago. I refused to take the shoes off. I’m not Britney Spears!!!!

    Comment by Maggie Hill | June 19, 2013 | Reply


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