Youamdumb's Blog

Just another weblog

It’s Back – Dummy Of The Week

Why wouldn’t I come back on a Friday before a holiday? I have probably followed zero of the normal rules for starting a blog anyway, so why should this be any better of an idea? How any of you (both of you) find this blog to read it in the first place is a mighty feat of which your reward is my return. Why was I gone? Why am I back? None of that matters. What matters is that I didn’t disappear because the dumb did – they are alive, well and thriving. As such, it’s Friday and we need a Dummy Of The Week.

I was going to avoid a sports-related post for my first returning stab at the heart of dumb, but considering that my DOTW includes sports, celebrity, acting, and texting, it had to happen. I feel like the coolest thing Tiger Woods could do is come out and say that he wants to mentor other athletes into how to properly obtain and keep side pieces. Despite what anyone thinks of him, El Tigre ran through 100+ randoms for years before finally being hauled down for a text. He’s like the Al Capone of infidelity. The guy he should have trained is our DOTW – Tony Parker.

Dude. I know you’re French but are you going to tell me you haven’t been following the tribulations of both Woods and Favre? Both those guys are WAY more high-profile than you and look at the bullshit they’re dealing with. You’re a point guard who is historically known for not necessarily even being liked by your own coach – and you guys have won championships together! Your wife is of Mexican descent – do you not realize she will likely cut you at some point? She’s not just Mexican, she’s from that part of Texas where the Mexican drug dealers just slaughter people…and you play in San Antonio! That’s a same-day assassination trip for one of those guys. On top of everything else, you’re stepping out on her with a former teammate’s (now soon-to-be ex) wife – who happens to be WHITE?! Look, I’m not trying to be racial but facts are facts – you’re a French Black guy living in Texas cheating on your Mexican wife with a White guy’s White wife. If you get hung any less than four times for this by some backwoods redneck crew of mouth breathers you should probably count yourself lucky. Tony, you’re a second tier point guard, but a first tier Dummy. You, are our Dummy Of The Week.


November 19, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment