Youamdumb's Blog

Just another weblog

Topic #37 – Crash And Burn

One of the great benefits of California living is the consistently nice weather.  I try to take advantage of it as much as possible by getting to the beach whenever I can.  I do everything from lazily lay out in the sun, to exercise, to just walking up and down the boardwalk in Venice while being cajoled into listening to the next up-and-coming crack dealer’s “new hot shit” (aka horrible CD) or being nearly accosted by sandwich board promoters for Dr. Kush.  All that is fine and dandy.  What I do not need on my beach excursions are these morons that think they need to fly toy airplanes of any kind.

Recently while trying to get a little exercise on the beach, some old guy in sandals, dress pants and a funky t-shirt had a boy he obviously stole from neglectful parents in my vicinity.  I’m in the midst of getting my stretch on when all of a sudden the kid comes barreling into my leg.  Innocent enough, I let it go.  I stopped punching 4 year olds a few years back and I figured I’d give this one a pass too.  A few minutes go by and right in the middle of some cardio move I get WHAPPED in the back of my head.  I’m pretty sure I spit on the hobo sunning himself a few feet in front of me.  I turned to see the little half-pint picking up one of those 2 piece styrofoam airplanes and running it back to his molester grandparent.  Certainly Maverick had no clearance from the tower for this flyby.  I get no sorry, no moving to another part of the beach by the Iranian Henry Warnimont (yes, a Punky Brewster reference); just a shrug and a re-rubberbanding and flinging of this ridiculous contraption.

I determine this is fun for no one.  The old man is obviously biding time to get this kid alone.  The kid is getting exercise that will only result in getting hit by a passing biker and I am growing increasingly frustrated at having to keep an eye to the sky for the Red Baron.  As I vow to solve my problem, Sky Captain dumps his mini-jet right near leg.  STOMP!  Whoops – one crying kid, one consoling molester uncle, and one happy me.  Look old man, buy the kid a ball and a glove and be done with it.  Until then, if you’re trying to fly little crap airplanes near my head, YOU AM DUMB.


March 24, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,

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