Youamdumb's Blog

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Topic #36 – Jaywalker

I’m originally from Chicago, land of downtrodden sports teams, corrupt politics, and what I like to call:  Human Frogger.  In Chicago, as I believe the case is in New York, while you are not supposed to hit pedestrians that are crossing the street, there doesn’t seem to be anything set in stone about slowing down or giving the right-of-way to them.  As a result, when you step off of a sidewalk in Chicago and there is a car coming your way from off in the distance, the advisable thing to do is to pull out your best Jesse Owens impersonation.  I’ve been sped at while crossing a Chicago street and I’ve mashed the gas pedal at idiots who’ve dared venture from the curb with my 3,500lb machine 3 blocks away.  Both are equally dumb, but that’s just the way it is.

In Los Angeles, the rules of the game are a bit different.  You can actually get ticketed for not stopping at an intersection that people are traversing on foot.  Every crosswalk has one of those silly “walk buttons” that people push like they’re waiting for a stubborn elevator.  Many crosswalks have yellow lights built into the ground that flash when people are crossing.  Pedestrians very much have the right of way.  However, my dear dummies, that does not mean you can just randomly walk into the street.  Having the right of way as a pedestrian means that if you have started your entry into the street that I need to stop and let you get across.  It does not mean that you can just walk off all willy-nilly into traffic whenever you feel like it.  It’s not like I’m driving a skateboard – even the lightest cars are 1,000 times heavier than even an average sized male.  That’s not an easy thing to just bring to a halt because you’re trying to get to El Pollo Loco before breakfast is over.  You have the right to cross, but not to just throw your baby stroller out into oncoming traffic expecting the housewife in the H2 to screech to a halt for you.  You’re jaywalking.  Pedestrian is not old English for Lord of Asphalt, although I think that’s a particularly bad ass title.  It could end up translating to “part of asphalt” if you don’t put your little piggies back on the curb.  If you think that just because you’re on foot, you can step into the street anytime you choose, YOU AM DUMB.

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March 23, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Fuckin A Right! I personally don’t drive much here yet, but I’ve almost killed 3 people in the year I’ve been here. It’s not like the Jetson’s yet where you step off the curb and magically get across the road!

    Comment by Carlos | March 23, 2010 | Reply


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