Youamdumb's Blog

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Topic #35 – That’s Not A Convertible

The majority of people in my world that have spent more than 4 minutes and 27 seconds with me would be very quick to confirm that I am a “car guy”.  I like cars, I read about cars, I tweet about cars, I occasionally fall asleep in cars – 92% of which are my own.  I know what a hybrid sounds like before I see it and tend to have the same mutant power with certain supercars also.  Call it a gift, call it a curse, call it the most useless ability ever; but when it’s late on a Friday night, you’ve had one too many and you see headlights in your rear view mirror, it helps when I can look out the back window and confirm for you that it’s not Johnny Law riding on your 6.

I tend to be opinionated about what people do to their cars.  Not out of jealousy, but more out of disgust.  I’m sure I will reveal other car-modification hatreds as this blog continues it’s lifespan, but today I want to talk about Landau tops and the dummies that get them.  What the hell is a Landau top?  This right HERE is a Landau top.  It originated in the coachbuilding days – as in horse pulled coaches, and for some reason people believed it would look good on cars as well.  There was a period of time when it was the thing to have on your Cadillac or Buick.  That was the 70’s.  Nowadays they show up on everything from the Mercury Tracer in the linked picture above to the new Camaro.  Look, there is nothing stylish about attaching fabric to the roof of a car.  It’s definitely ridiculous on a car that is also sold as a convertible, to put a Landau top on the coupe version to make it look like a convertible.  The purpose a Landau top serves?  Absolutely none.  It’s just a piece of vinyl attached to the back half of a roof, usually matched with a gaudy pair of whitewall tires.  Unless you drive a hearse to work, or just got hired by the Gotti’s, stop with the Landau.  If not, you’re making it pretty plain to see that YOU AM DUMB.

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March 22, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , ,

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