Youamdumb's Blog

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Dummy Of The Week

I have to admit, picking a Dummy Of The Week is probably my favorite part of doing this little blog.  The daily (or whenever the hell I remember to write one) posts about the mundane things that I find dumb either make me look completely neurotic, like I have way too much time on my hands, or both.  I say it takes having too much time on your hands to be able to shoulder consistent neurosis in the first place, so those are really the same thing.  On to our winner.

If you were Jesse James, and your wife had just followed up Premonition with The Proposal, and then All About Steve, how are you to expect she’s going to garner much attention for some role that she didn’t even want about a white family that rescues a black kid with the mighty power of football?  Well, if your wife’s name is Sandra Fricking Bullock, does it even matter?  I’ve followed the entertainment business for a long time and the only person liked more in Hollywood is the reflection that those people in Hollywood see in the mirror (if they produce one at all).  A lot of people are going to say, “I bet if he knew that she was going to win a Golden Globe and an Oscar and the movie was going to make over $200 million he wouldn’t have cheated on her.”  To that I say two things: 1) He’s obviously a damn fool, so yeah, he still would have, and 2) IT’S SANDRA BULLOCK.  Look, you don’t pull on Superman’s cape, you don’t poke an angry grizzly bear with a short stick, and you don’t cheat on “America’s Sweetheart”.

It’s a no-brainer that cheating in itself is dumb.  It’s a bigger no-brainer that cheating on Polly Purebread with a girl literally ripped out Heavy Metal is dumb.  But cheating on the most famous Polly Purebread, who is currently on an Oscar run and has a movie that is the highest grossing movie for a female lead of all time?  If I were Jesse James, I’d drop the kids off with my pornstar ex-wife, leave the keys to my motorcycle kingdom with my soon-to-be new ex-wife, locate a nice bridge, and take a huge step off.  People actually started to like this guy simply because she liked him, and he flushed it for a roll in the hay with a human inkwell.  Without a doubt, Jesse James, you are my DUMMY OF THE WEEK.


March 19, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , ,

1 Comment »

  1. This is undoutedly the smartest Dummy of the Week I’ve read to date. That Jesse James (and the name is indicative of his deplorable behaviour)is a hot mess. What a damn fool! Cheating is a despicable action in itself but to pull the wool over the eyes of our modern Doris Day, there are no words, hmmm well except four: ‘Off with his head’…. (pun intended)

    Comment by Tiffany Rose | March 19, 2010 | Reply

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