Youamdumb's Blog

Just another weblog

Topic #23 – You Are, In Fact, Judgmental

One of my favorite comedians from when I was a kid was a guy named George Wallace.  He had this great bit about the fact that people say stupid things.  It was one of the inspirations behind the very blog you are reading right now.  He would run for about 5 minutes bringing up a number of statements people made that were idiotic.  I preface this post with that information because in this PC-don’t-hurt-anyone’s-feelings-we-are-all-special world, I often meet people who in the course of our conversation make this statement:  “I hate judgmental people.”

Now, being a writer doesn’t make me a grammatical or linguistics expert, but that statement is like wearing tin foil as a motorcycle helmet.  You think you’re doing something right because it’s shiny, but you’re just as screwed as someone who doesn’t wear a helmet at all.  Everyone is a little judgmental, but it’s become the cool statement to make.  “Hey man, you know I don’t judge.”  Yes, you do.  Otherwise you’d be dead already.  Your milk has an expiration date on it right?  Well, who are you to judge that the milk will actually be spoiled then?  You get a bill from the electric company.  Who are you to judge that they really want to get paid?  Your friend just did 8 shots of Everclear.  Who are you to judge that he can’t drive?

It’s like the bailout statement for people that don’t want to be seen as taking a side, or better yet, seen as racist.  If my daughter brought home some homeless vagrant and tried to pass her off as a new boyfriend, who am I to judge, right?  Well, first of all, my daughter isn’t even 4 yet, so I already have an issue.  But on top of that, uh, I’m not trying to have my daughter hugged up with a bum.  It’s okay, I say it sometimes too.  Of course, I’ve already told you that I’m just as full of shit as you are.  So let me drop the charade, get a little judgmental and tell you that if you claim that you aren’t, YOU AM DUMB.


January 7, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

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