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Topic #19 – Your Girl Is Not The Shit

I’ll be honest:  I’m not at all into the whole “men vs. women” thing.  I hate arguments that start with the premise that ALL men are a certain way, or that ALL women are a certain way.  Yes, I absolutely contradict this statement with my Crazy/Idiots theory (last posted on my Facebook page) but that theory is more of a metaphor to explain how we can get along better.  What’s the point?  I was out with a buddy of mine last weekend and the girl he is very interested in was out with us along with her gal pal (that just sounds so Gayle King-like).  Now the girl was still officially dating someone but everybody knows that there is something bubbling between my friend and her.  So her pal starts giving him the 3rd degree about how she knows how he is and he better fly right and not break friends heart if they date.  Being the good guy friend, I politely told the chick to shut the hell up.  “How about you tell your girl not to break my buddies heart, okay Nancy Grace?”  She got immediately perturbed that I would suggest such a possibility.

Look ladies, I know you think it’s a good idea to pitch your girlfriends as aspiring Mother Teresa’s, but guys have been on your Facebook pages.  We checked out the album titled “Cancun Trip”.  Let’s stop the charade.  Your girl is not the shit.  Not any more than the guys you’re selling them to are.  Guys don’t get reputations as players because they masturbate a lot.  It takes two to make that reputation and one of them most certainly possesses a vagina.  Can’t both sexes just admit that neither side is perfect and that the best we can hope for is something less than chasing or being chased around by a golf club, crashing an Escalade (twice) and dealing with 15-20 indiscretions coming out of the woodwork?  No one is perfect, so if you try and promote your girlfriend like she’s the shit, YOU AM DUMB.

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December 17, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , ,

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