Youamdumb's Blog

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Topic #10 – 0 Horsepower

Now, I know this might be a little bit of a car geek thing, but I’m hoping you’ll hear me out anyway.  I happen to be a little familiar with cars.  I can’t fix brakes (as you will be reminded of if you’re riding with me anywhere lately), but I know who makes what, what years they made it, and what all the dumb initials, engine names and all-wheel drive systems are called. 

That said, I have seen some hilarious things done to cars for the sake of trying to “look cool”.  I call these “0 horsepower upgrades”.  Whether it’s the Vtec sticker I saw on your Camaro (Vtec is a Honda engine – It’d be cooler to see an LS1 sticker on an Accord), or turbo gauge on an automatic Malibu (circa 2002, not the old 70’s versions) it has to be the dumbest thing in the world.  People that aren’t into cars and car mods don’t know what the hell HKS is thereby not caring and people that know cars know that seeing it on your otherwise stock, slushbox (automatic) Focus is an absolute joke.  Who are you impressing?  The Injen sticker isn’t so gorgeous that you put it on your 9 year old Passat for looks purposes.

Buick’s have portholes.  It’s a Buick tradition, be they functional or not.  They don’t look attractive on your Charger and never will.  Now, this is not to say that making cosmetic upgrades is a horrible thing.  I like billet grills, good wheel/tire packages, and even exhaust mods, if they belong.  But adding a fake side vent to a 190 hp V6 Avenger just doesn’t make sense.  If you make ridiculous, ill-fitting additions to your mode of transportation, YOU AM DUMB.

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November 10, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

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