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Topic #6 – Stop Trying To Get Me To Like Stuff

Eating food, to me, is less about being too caught up in every single detail of the meal and more about either enjoying some good company while I eat, or just plain old nourishment in my car while on my way to whatever stupid thing I shouldn’t have overcommited to doing in the first place.  That being the case, I’m not the most picky person when it comes to food.  I try and eat as healthy as I can, with the occasional 2-week dip into the federal chocolate reserves, and there isn’t much I don’t like.  I can claim a rather similar stance when it comes to movies, events, music, and vacation destinations – I’m not too picky and there isn’t much I don’t like.

What I have trouble with is people who try and convince me to like the minute number of things that do fall on my “Do Not Want” list.  What is the need for this sheer dominance of my tastes (and taste buds)?  Why must you conquer my mindstate like there is just something about the taste of olives that I haven’t realized in the times I’ve dared to try them, and if you convince me to take one more shot, I’ll discover something earth shattering?  I don’t like snow.  Rephrase:  I like looking at snow.  I like traveling down snow-ridden mountains at high speeds with my feet locked into lacquered wooden death-planks.  I don’t like existing in a snowy climate.  Stop trying to convince me I miss “real” winters.  I don’t.  I don’t miss puffy jackets and the next time I want to use a shovel is to beat you about the head and face for suggesting it.

I don’t need to give Reebok’s a second chance.  I bought a few pairs.  They sucked – too narrow and fell apart.  I’m not going to “finally admit” that New York style pizza is better than Chicago deep dish.  I want my pizza to kick me in the stomach and remind me what exactly mozzarella, sauce, 2-inches of dough and a full layer of sausage is all about…on slice #1.  I want to be impressed by my inability to eat more pizza, not by the amount of pizzas I can eat.  I’m not going to start watching any of the initialed-crime-solving-dramas that you think are so original.  C.S.I. Special Victims Toledo will not be typed into Hulu anytime soon by these fingers.  

I’m not eating your chips just because now they’re “Xtreme” (what does that even mean?) nor is there any part about there being “more than corn in Indiana” that entices me to make that journey unless I’m passing through it to get to New York (but not for New York’s pizza, as previously explained).  Yes, I have driven a Ford lately and all it reminded me was how much I don’t like driving Fords.  By this same token, I have no interest in convincing you to like any of the dumb crap I’m way into either.  If on a personal or a corporate level you try and convince other people to like stuff they already told you they don’t like, YOU AM DUMB.

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November 2, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized | ,

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